rob boosted

I really gotta stop saying "I'm the judge, jury, and executioner, pal" to my grandma. she's a very kind woman and doesn't deserve this

rob boosted

We said "bingo! I crave the flame!" in my house for like two weeks

rob boosted

throwing a bespoke harpoon at the sun, "The Hot Whale". my children try to hold me back but they are Prepubescent and Weak. admittedly i could have given them nicer names

Time based polling for events is a pit of despair. 💀

rob boosted

The picture on this bag of dog treats is fucking horrifying.

Despite their best efforts there might actually be a good Monday night football game on ESPN right now.

I needed to read up on yum commands. Had to type `man yum` into my terminal.

Paddy's Pub

The worst bar in the fediverse.